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<title>Building New Beliefs by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28240863">Building New Beliefs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell'>ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Advent Calendar Prompts [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, self-punishment/self-harm in the form of denial of comforts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:35:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28240863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alec jolts awake in the middle of the night to a feeling like ice running through his veins and an ache in his parabatai bond, he knows something is wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood &amp; Jace Wayland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Advent Calendar Prompts [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Building New Beliefs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Advent Calendar Prompt: Fire</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec is freezing by the time he and Jace get back from their mission, which isn’t the first one they’ve done alone, but definitely the most dangerous so far. It took twice as long as it should’ve because they were more outnumbered than anticipated - if it were anyone other than the pair of them things could’ve ended up a <em>lot</em> worse. As it stands, the two young teens managed to get out with minor injuries, all things considered.</p>
<p>“Jace, I can feel the guilt radiating off of you. I’m okay,” Alec says for the third time as they walk, shaking late December snow out of his hair. “We get to go back, report a success, and call it a night. We should be celebrating!” He wonders if it’ll somehow sound more convincing this time.</p>
<p>Jace shakes his head. “I let those two through that got you,” he says, also for the third time. “I was <em>right there</em>, I should’ve stopped them.”</p>
<p>Alec sighs. Jace has a point - he should’ve seen the two slip past him, but Alec should’ve seen them coming before they were on top of him, too. “We both missed them,” Alec says. This time he stops walking and turns Jace to face him. “The Iratzes are already kicking in. Seriously, it’s fine. We’re fine, right?”</p>
<p>Jace sighs. “Right.”</p>
<p>At least Jace stops arguing the point and Alec thinks that maybe this time he finally got through to him. It’s what Alec continues to think as they give their reports and head to their rooms for the night - right up until Alec jolts awake at 2 am.</p>
<p>For a moment it feels like a sudden burst of cold wind hit him like he left a window open accidentally or something. But it settles as a chill that seems to rest just under his skin and stays there, followed by an ache in his parabatai bond.</p>
<p>Alec is out of his bed, down the hall, and outside Jace’s door open within two minutes.</p>
<p>He should’ve known something was up when Jace said he was too tired to talk, and just wanted to go to bed… when Jace insisted on going back to his room instead of staying with Alec like he sometimes does after a rough day.</p>
<p>The cold stops Alec dead the moment he opens the door. The fire isn’t going, the window is open with errant snow blowing in, and the room has to be below freezing as Jace curls under a single thin blanket, shaking violently enough that Alec can see it through the cover.</p>
<p>Alec immediately lights the logs in the fireplace and latches the window shut before rushing over to the bed.</p>
<p>“Don’t,” Jace says.</p>
<p>“What the fuck, Jace?” Alec says, too shocked to bother with tact.</p>
<p>“You don’t get comforts when you make mistakes,” Jace says, forcing the sentence out through chattering teeth. The words sound like something Jace is repeating, something he’d been told before.</p>
<p>Alec suspects if he knew Jace’s father it’d sound a lot like him.</p>
<p>“I made mistakes, too,” Alec points out, sliding under the covers and trying not to gasp at how frigid Jace’s body is as Alec curls around him, sharing as much warmth as he can until the fire warms the room a little more. “Are you saying I should’ve gone to bed cold, too?”</p>
<p>“No!” Jace’s shudders slow down as his body tenses at the idea of Alec punishing himself the same way.</p>
<p>“If I don’t deserve that, then neither do you,” Alec continues. “And I’m going to keep reminding you until you believe it.”</p>
<p>Alec holds Jace until he stops shivering, until the fire and Alec’s own body warm him up enough that he finally falls asleep. Not only does Alec stay the night he comes back the next night, and the night after that, and the night after that, for the next week. Alec never asks if he can spend the night, but Jace never tells him to leave, so he keeps doing it. Like so many other things between them, the comfort it brings both of them is something perfectly understood despite being unspoken.</p>
<p>Alec knows that Jace is someone worth protecting, worth caring for, worth <em>loving</em>, even if Jace doesn’t seem to believe that himself. But it’ll be alright, Alec tells himself - until he does Alec will believe it enough for the both of them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(Find me on  <a href="http://bytheangell.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a> and also on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell">Twitter</a>! &lt;3 )</p></blockquote></div></div>
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